Free agency has pretty much cooled down, and OBB can’t wait to start analyzing how this off-season has shifted the balance of power throughout the league. From monster moves like the LeBron signing to the sneaky low-key deals like Isaiah Thomas to Phoenix, this blog will spend the next three weeks breaking down how that has changed the culture of the league. Which teams are now the “craziest?” What roster is most likely to combust in the locker room mid-season? What team will lead the league in three-point shooting? OBB answers these questions and more in the coming weeks. Today: Which teams have upped their “cool” factors this offseason? 

If I had done a ranking of the “coolest” teams in the NBA to watch and cheer for immediately following the 2013-14 regular season, it would have gone like this:

1. Phoenix – Because no one expected them to even be watchable, and they were not just that – they were good! Like, 48 wins good! And their coach let them play fast and loose, featuring two dynamic ball handlers, one of whom was a tricky smooth guard who made impossible things happen, the other a hyper-athletic mini-LeBron who was relentless on both ends. Plus they have twins.

2. Chicago – I don’t personally find Chicago cool, but fans ate this stuff up last year. Another successful season for the Bulls, with Derrick Rose out for the year and Luol Deng shipped off to Cleveland. Joakim Noah won the hearts of everyone, which was semi-warranted because he’s a great player and competitor, and was semi-stupid because he’s a dick.

3. Portland – Super sweet shooting offense that plays fast and has an underrated superstar (LMA!) and an upcoming superstar (DAME!). Also features some hipster fodder with Nic Batum and Robin Lopez.

4. Toronto – A) They’re Canadian. B) Masai Ujiri. C) They have a player named Patrick Patterson. D) Like, most of the same reasons listed for the Suns, except Vasquez is no Bledsoe. That’s why they fall out of the top three.

5. San Antonio – Winning is pretty fucking cool still.

So, that was our top five at the END of 2013-14. But now, with absolutely zero meaningful basketball having been played, all of this has already been permanently reshuffled, and it’s time for the NBA hipsters to pick a new team for 2014-15. Anyone who joins after August 15 is on the bandwagon. I’m setting that as a rule now – too much time to adjust and not enough time to make outlandish statements about your chosen team. So, if you like to shift your loyalties around every season, or your just waiting for your hometown team to get relevant again, here are you best picks for the 2014-15 season, followed by the worst picks tomorrow.  Enjoy!

5. Portland – All the reasons listed above, plus they are being underrated AGAIN! And they signed Chris Kaman, which is a pretty Portlandia thing to do. Rip City will be fun again, plus Terry Stotts is an awesome basketball nerd.

4. Utah – Okay, so this team probably won’t win a lot, but they will be playing ALL young dudes. Pretty exciting ones, too, in Dante Exum, Trey Burke, Alec Burks, Gordon Hayward and Derrick Favors. Rudy Gobert adds some hipster flavor, and Rodney Hood is a major rookie sleeper. Go Jazz! (Extra points for color scheme and ironic team name).

3. Phoenix – They did most things right this offseason, including making a ridiculous bid for LeBron James in free agency and signing dynamo point guard Isaiah Thomas, a favorite player of this blog. T.J. Warren could be fun immediately in Phoenix, but when the hell will Tyler Ennis play? If this team doesn’t resign Eric Bledsoe they plummet – that dude brings the cool.

2. Washington – This team overachieved in the playoffs last year with a great young core, and every smart fan immediately expected their incompetent duo of Ernie Grunfeld and Randy Whitman to muck it all up now that their jobs were safe because of winning a few extra games against a beat-up and exhausted Bulls team. But no! Grunfeld quietly had the best offseason out of anyone not living in Northeast Ohio (which is also now an oft-referenced region somehow) by re-signing Marcin Gortat to a long but reasonable deal, nabbing Paul Pierce(!!!) and Kris Humphries on the cheap, and putting out a summer league team that showcased Glen Rice, Jr. playing like Tracy McGrady in 2003. Couple that with John Wall and Bradley Beal just being SO awesome, and you almost have the coolest team in the league. Except…

1. Charlotte HORNETS – The Buzz is Back, baby! Oh man, I am so excited for Hornets games this year. First of all, best color scheme in the league. Best court design also. Oh, and they signed this dude named Lance Stephenson (not to be confused with his brother, Lantz, which really is his brother’s name). They basically stole the most fun player from the most boring yet good team in the Eastern Conference for nothing. Great signing by the Hornets. Throw in Marvin Williams and the fact that Zach Lowe has officially begun referring to Al Jeff as Professor Al Jefferson, PHD, and you’ve got yourselves a winner. Kemba Walker, MKG, Gerald Henderson, Born Ready/The Eighth Grader/Lance Make ’em Dance, Professor Al Jefferson, PHD and some dudes named Marvin, Bismack and Cody. Your 2014-15 Coolest Team!